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chalice

Congregation of Unitarian Universalists

Words of Sympathy and Inspiration, Hymns, Readings , Music, Poetry, Ritual, Examples and Ideas

A Memorial Service

Blessed are those who mourn, for they have dared to risk their hearts by giving of their love.

En Español

    Opening Words
      When sorrow comes, let us accept it simply,
      As a part of life.
      Let the heart be open to pain; let it be stretched by it.
      In the desolate hour, there is an outcry;
      A clenching of the hands upon emptiness;
      A burning pain of bereavement;
      A weary ache of loss.
      But anguish, like ecstasy, is not forever.
      There comes a gentleness, a returning quietness,
      A restoring stillness.
      This, too, is a door to life.
      Here is a deepening of meaning,
      An opportunity to reflect and meditate on the importance of loving relationships.
      Our love, our memories will never cease.
      And it can lead to dedication;
      A going forward to the triumph of the soul,
      The conquering of the wilderness.
      And in the process will come
      A deepening inward knowledge
      That in the final reckoning, all is well.

    Lighting the  Chalice :

      In our time of grief, we light a flame of sharing,
        The flame of ongoing life.
          In this time when we search for understanding
            And serenity in the face of loss,
              We light this sign of our quest
                For truth, meaning, and community.
                  Gathered here in the mystery of the hour.
                    Gathered here in one strong body.
                      Gathered here in the struggle and the power.
                        Spirit, draw near.

    Prayer: (Followed by a moment of silent meditation)

      Let us join now in the Spirit of Thought
      Spirit of Life and also our Companion at the end of life, be with us.
      We are all here now because of our love for Mary Alice,
      Today we celebrate her life and her spirit.
      Not only who she was, but what her life has meant, and will always mean.
      Grant that each of us may hold on to a shining moment of memory,
      That we may carry it in our hearts, as a candle, a companion in our darkness.
      We have come to remember Mary Alice as she was long ago, and as she was just a few weeks ago.
      I hope you will share in my belief that even in times of sadness, there is room for laughter.
      Some people try to tie themselves to joy and in doing so bind it more tightly than a prison.
      But as William Blake once said
      "She was one who lightly kissed joy as it flew, and lived in eternity's sunrise."
      May we all remember that the joy, that comes from loving and friendship, remains with us.
      For it is through each of us that her memory stays alive, that what she stood for will be carried forth.
      May we all remember well her smiles, her companionship, her conversations, her life.
      So Be it, Blessed be.

    Hymn:   (STLT) # 412 Let Hope and Sorrow Now Unite   (*Selected by family and friends of the deceased)

      Let hope and sorrow now unite to consecrate life's ending.
      And praise good friends now gone from sight, though grief and loss are rending.
      The story in a well-loved face, the years and days our thoughts retrace, Are treasures worth repeating.

      The ebb and flow of space and time surpass our small perception;
      Yet knowledge grows with joyful gains and finds out wonder far more strange than hopes of resurrection.

      First Reading:   From the Old Testament of the Bible    Ecclesiastes III   3:1-3:8 ( adapted)

      To everything there is a season,
      A time for everything under the sun
      A time to be born and a time to die
      A time to laugh and a time to cry
      A time to dance and a time to mourn
      A time to seek and a time to let go.
      This is the time we remember
      One who gave meaning to our lives.
      This is the time we remember the bonds that tied us together,
      The love that we shared,
      And the memories that remain with us still.

    Ritual

      Please join hands while sitting together and for a few moments, experience the love, support, and common purpose you share in this congregation.
      Members of the family will read the following words while holding each of the elements provided on the table.
        (Hold up the bowl of soil.)
        Earth cure me.
          Earth receive my woe.
        (Hold up the stone.)
        Rock strengthen me.
          Rock receive my weakness.
        (Hold up the bowl of water.)
        Rain wash my sadness away.
          Rain receive my doubt.
        (Hold up the chalice.)
        Sun make sweet my song.
          Sun receive the anger from my heart.
        In this time of sorrow, we remember that our lives, and our deaths, are interwoven with the basic elements of our world. They are part of the cycle of nature.
      You are invited to briefly share a personal reflection on the member who has died: something you have learned from them, a favorite memory, a quality you will miss, or any other aspect of their life or your relationship that is in your heart right now

    Hymn:    Dona Nobis Pacem     [Grant us Peace]

      Dona nobis pacem, pacem,

        Dona nobis pacem.
          Dona nobis pacem.
            Dona nobis pacem.
              Dona nobis pacern.
                Dona nobis pacem.
    Extinguish the Chalice:
      We extinguish the flaming chalice to mark Mary Alice's physical death, yet the memories of her special character and gifts live in our lives. Her beautiful spirit is indomitable.

    Candle of Remeberance and Compassion:

    We now light a candle to symbolize her influence, which endures. From this candle we light this chalice again to invoke the spirit of compassion.

      We hold in our hearts all those who have died.
        We hold in our hearts all those who grieve the loss of loved ones, friends, colleagues.
          We hold in our hearts all those whose lives have been torn by grief.
            We invoke the spirit of compassion.
              In mystery we are born, in mystery we live and in mystery we die.
                If we remember and are remembered,
                  Life endures, meaning reigns, hope perseveres.
      As the poet Mary Oliver has said " To live in this world you must be able to do three things:
        To love what is mortal;
          to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it;
            And, when the time comes
              to let it go,
                to let it go. "
    Final Words:
      And when life's sweet story ends,
        Soul and Body part as friends,
          No quarrels, murmurs, no delay;
            A kiss, a sigh and so away.          Richard Crenshaw 1612-1649

    Hymn and Closing Circle of Hands:      Go Now in Peace