When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, she asked, "Is this jar full?" The congregation replied "yes"

She reached under the altar and pulled out a glass of gravel. She dumped some gravel in the jar and shook it, causing pieces of the gravel to work themselves into the spaces between the big rocks. She asked again, "Is the jar full?" This time, the congregation answered, "Probably not."

Donner reached under the altar and brought out a glass of sand. She dumped sand into the jar until it filled up all the spaces left between the

rocks and gravel. Once more she asked the question, "Is this jar full?" The congregation nodded heads to indicate no.

Then she selected a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. She looked at the congregation and asked, "Is the point of this illustration, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard, you can always fit some more things in it."

"That's not the point. This illustration teaches us that if you don't put the big rocks in first, you'll never get them in at all."

What are the "big rocks" in your life -- your loved ones, your faith, your education, your dreams, a worthy cause, your job? Are you putting them in your jar first?

Sermon:

What are the big rocks in your life? Time with your loved ones? Your faith, your job, your dreams? Remember to put these big rocks in first, or you'll never get them in at all. ...

A little while ago, I talked briefly with a friend about what I was preaching on today, and she said that in her home growing up, instead of talking about what they were giving up for Lent, they spoke of what they might want to spend more time with.

One of the universals these days is that most of us feel we have too much to do, and not enough time in which to do it. So even if you feel that spiritual work is not your priority, chances are you could afford to do some looking at how you manage time. Our Unitarian Universalist Third Principle encourages us to learn and promote acceptance of one another and to encourage spiritual growth in our congregations.

I believe this really is a spiritual question, because often life hands us opportunities to remake our priorities, and sometimes these opportunities are not perceived as kind or beneficial at the time. Such things as divorce, serious illness, or the death of a loved one can give us the chance to see more clearly which things in our lives are the "big rocks." For most of us, at times like these, we realize that many things we had considered very important become as grains of sand in this jar of life.

I find that things I am quite attached to on a daily basis seem unimportant when I take the time to examine my priorities. Such things as listening to the news on the public radio station or a favorite television show lose their importance when "big" events occur. In a sense, what I am talking about here today is attachment.

The  Buddhists say that one should not be attached to anything, since whatever we can be attached to in this life is not It. So rather than focus on just one time-period in the year for spiritual development,or letting life present us with opportunities for growth, we can consciously choose to work on spiritual development and part of that process is to examine our attachments and to consider giving up attachment to those things that may be pieces of gravel in our lives or even grains of sand. ... You might begin by asking yourself, "What things in my life could I do without?"

There is a difference between what we must have to survive and what we believe we need. Those of you who have received emails from me know that I often quote "The earth provides for everyone's need but not for everyone's greed." Gandhi. This is part of the point of Lent, Yom Kippor, Ramadan, Sojong Day-- a Tibetan Buddhist day of fasting and other traditional periods of fasting and preparation from the major faith traditions. Voluntarily cutting back on some aspects of our daily routine gives us the opportunity to discover which of the things we do are necessary, and which are merely attachments we could do without.

Discussion Theme: Big Rocks (Copyright: First Unitarian Church San José)

What are your "big rocks" and why are they your top priorities? Are you putting them in your jar first? What less important things -- gravel, sand and water -- are you putting in the jar instead? How can you find more time for your top priorities.

Life Priorities Activity: There are 168 hours in every week. If you are going to find more time for your top priorities -- your "big rocks" -- it is helpful to know how you currently spend your time. Do this questionnaire in the following manner:

In column A rank the activities listed using this scale, adding others if you need to.

1. Essential

2. Important and Necessary but not essential

3. Helpful, but not really necessary

4. Trivial

In column B write the number of hours you spend each week (on an average). You may not total more than 168 hours. Try to avoid multi-tasking.

Column Column Activities

A      B

___ ___ Sleep

___ ___ Eating

___ ___ Personal maintenance(showers, shaving, )

___ ___ Building & maintaining an intimate relationship. It takes 2

___ ___ Time with children

___ ___ Job including commute

___ ___ Fitness and Sports

___ ___ Classes

___ ___ Homework

___ ___ Volunteer activities

___ ___ Church attendance & activities

___ ___ Housework & home maintenance

___ ___ Membership in organization ______________________

___ ___ Membership in organization ______________________

___ ___ Membership in organization ______________________

___ ___ Friendship with ______________________

___ ___ Friendship with ______________________

___ ___ Friendship with ______________________

___ ___ Paying bills, correspondence (including email)

___ ___ Recreation and entertainment

___ ___ Reading for pleasure

___ ___ TV watching

___ ___ Video games/computer games/Web surfing

___ ___ Time spent alone to rejuvenate

___ ___ Other___________________________

Adapted from activities and projects from the Self-Development Center of George Mason University

Arrange Your Priorities

Here is as activity that will absolutely amaze you. At the end of a day (any old day will do), sit down with a blank piece of paper and write down everything you did that day. Everything. Every detail. If you're fairly thorough (and honest), you're going to end up with a list of more than a hundred items. Now go back and rank your activities according to the following scale.

1. Essential

2. Important and Necessary but not essential

3. Helpful, but not really necessary

4. Trivial

When you're done, look at your list. You will see two remarkable things. First, you'll notice how many details there are in one day. How did you do all of that? Second, you'll notice how much time you spent on unnecessary and trivial things, and how little time you spent on essential and important details. Assuming you were honest, you now have a measure of your priorities, and they may not be what you expected. Did you think that the essential and important things were the top priorities of your life, but find that unnecessary and even trivial things occupy the majority of your time?

- adapted from God Is in the Small Stuff... and It All Matters: And It All Matters -- by Bruce Bickel & Stan Jantz

How many hours are you devoting to your "big rocks"? How can you find more time for the things that matter most to you?

Closing Circle of Hands and Extinguishing the Chalice (stand and join hands) - Susan Polis Schultz

This life is yours:

Take the power to choose what you want to do and do it well.

Take the power to love what you want in life and love it honestly.

Take the power to walk in the forest and be a part of nature.

Take the power to control your own life. No one else can do it for you.

Take the power to make your life happy.

*Hymn:    Go now in Peace     

Go now in Peace, Go now in Peace,
May the Love of God surround you
Everywhere, everywhere, You may go