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Congregation Unitarian Universalist
Our Values Set Our Priorities
Story and Activity with rocks, sand, gravel, and water
En Español
Donner Lohnes
"One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes ... and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility." - Eleanor Roosevelt
"Not what we have, but what we use, not what we see, but what we choose, these are the things that mar or bless the sum of human happiness." - Joseph Fort Newton
Lighting the Chalice :
Keep us from being overly analytical when we need to be understanding:
Keep us from being orderly when we may need the disorder of insight:
From being so involved in the immediate that we miss the long view of the soul:
From making such great efforts in life when the truth that saves is so simple
From plodding along, when we could hear celestial music and begin
a magnificent journey to the heavens and the heavens on earth
which lie so close at hand.
Keep us thrusting lighted candles in the darkness knowing that
with the eyes of the spirit and the ears of the mind we may
perhaps learn to say "thank you" for what we have.
Joys and Concerns: (We throw a small stone into this bowl filled with water, to symbolize our thoughts, which move in circular rings eternally, like concentric waves.)
First Reading and Activity: Big Rocks: Setting Your Priorities
As Donner stood in front of the congregation she pulled out a wide-mouth jar and set it on the altar. She also produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks carefully labeled, and invited people one at time to put a rock into the jar.
When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, she asked, "Is this jar full?" The congregation replied "yes"
She reached under the altar and pulled out a glass of gravel. She dumped some gravel in the jar and shook it, causing pieces of the gravel to work themselves into the spaces between the big rocks. She asked again, "Is the jar full?" This time, the congregation answered, "Probably not."
Donner reached under the altar and brought out a glass of sand. She dumped sand into the jar until it filled up all the spaces left between the
rocks and gravel. Once more she asked the question, "Is this jar full?" The congregation nodded heads to indicate no.
Then she selected a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. She looked at the congregation and asked, "Is the point of this illustration, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard, you can always fit some more things in it."
"That's not the point. This illustration teaches us that if you don't put the big rocks in first, you'll never get them in at all."
What are the "big rocks" in your life -- your loved ones, your faith, your education, your dreams, a worthy cause, your job? Are you putting them in your jar first?
Sermon:
What are the big rocks in your life? Time with your loved ones? Your faith, your job, your dreams? Remember to put these big rocks in first, or you'll never get them in at all. ...
A little while ago, I talked briefly with a friend about what I was preaching on today, and she said that in her home growing up, instead of talking about what they were giving up for Lent, they spoke of what they might want to spend more time with.
One of the universals these days is that most of us feel we have too much to do, and not enough time in which to do it. So even if you feel that spiritual work is not your priority, chances are you could afford to do some looking at how you manage time. Our Unitarian Universalist Third Principle encourages us to learn and promote acceptance of one another and to encourage spiritual growth in our congregations.
I believe this really is a spiritual question, because often life hands us opportunities to remake our priorities, and sometimes these opportunities are not perceived as kind or beneficial at the time. Such things as divorce, serious illness, or the death of a loved one can give us the chance to see more clearly which things in our lives are the "big rocks." For most of us, at times like these, we realize that many things we had considered very important become as grains of sand in this jar of life.
I find that things I am quite attached to on a daily basis seem unimportant when I take the time to examine my priorities. Such things as listening to the news on the public radio station or a favorite television show lose their importance when "big" events occur. In a sense, what I am talking about here today is attachment.
The Buddhists say that one should not be attached to anything, since whatever we can be attached to in this life is not It. So rather than focus on just one time-period in the year for spiritual development,or letting life present us with opportunities for growth, we can consciously choose to work on spiritual development and part of that process is to examine our attachments and to consider giving up attachment to those things that may be pieces of gravel in our lives or even grains of sand. ... You might begin by asking yourself, "What things in my life could I do without?"
There is a difference between what we must have to survive and what we believe we need. Those of you who have received emails from me know that I often quote "The earth provides for everyone's need but not for everyone's greed." Gandhi. This is part of the point of Lent, Yom Kippor, Ramadan, Sojong Day-- a Tibetan Buddhist day of fasting and other traditional periods of fasting and preparation from the major faith traditions. Voluntarily cutting back on some aspects of our daily routine gives us the opportunity to discover which of the things we do are necessary, and which are merely attachments we could do without.
Discussion Theme: Big Rocks (Copyright: First Unitarian Church San José)
What are your "big rocks" and why are they your top priorities? Are you putting them in your jar first? What less important things -- gravel, sand and water -- are you putting in the jar instead? How can you find more time for your top priorities.
Life Priorities Activity: There are 168 hours in every week. If you are going to find more time for your top priorities -- your "big rocks" -- it is helpful to know how you currently spend your time. Do this questionnaire in the following manner:
1. Essential
2. Important and Necessary but not essential
3. Helpful, but not really necessary
4. Trivial
Column Column Activities
A B
___ ___ Sleep
___ ___ Eating
___ ___ Personal maintenance(showers, shaving, )
___ ___ Building & maintaining an intimate relationship. It takes 2 ___ ___
Time with children ___ ___ Job including commute
___ ___ Fitness and Sports
___ ___ Classes
___ ___ Homework
___ ___ Volunteer activities
___ ___ Church attendance & activities
___ ___ Housework & home maintenance
___ ___ Membership in organization ______________________
___ ___ Membership in organization ______________________
___ ___ Membership in organization ______________________
___ ___ Friendship with ______________________
___ ___ Friendship with ______________________
___ ___ Friendship with ______________________
___ ___ Paying bills, correspondence (including email)
___ ___ Recreation and entertainment
___ ___ Reading for pleasure
___ ___ TV watching
___ ___ Video games/computer games/Web surfing
___ ___ Time spent alone to rejuvenate
___ ___ Other___________________________
Arrange Your Priorities
Here is as activity that will absolutely amaze you. At the end of a day (any old day will do), sit down with a blank piece of paper and write down everything you did that day. Everything. Every detail. If you're fairly thorough (and honest), you're going to end up with a list of more than a hundred items. Now go back and rank your activities according to the following scale.
1. Essential
2. Important and Necessary but not essential
3. Helpful, but not really necessary
4. Trivial
When you're done, look at your list. You will see two remarkable things. First, you'll notice how many details there are in one day. How did you do all of that? Second, you'll notice how much time you spent on unnecessary and trivial things, and how little time you spent on essential and important details. Assuming you were honest, you now have a measure of your priorities, and they may not be what you expected. Did you think that the essential and important things were the top priorities of your life, but find that unnecessary and even trivial things occupy the majority of your time?
- adapted from God Is in the Small Stuff... and It All Matters: And It All Matters -- by Bruce Bickel & Stan Jantz
How many hours are you devoting to your "big rocks"? How can you find more time for the things that matter most to you?
Closing Circle of Hands and Extinguishing the Chalice (stand and join hands) - Susan Polis Schultz
Take the power to choose what you want to do and do it well.
Take the power to love what you want in life and love it honestly.
Take the power to walk in the forest and be a part of nature.
Take the power to control your own life. No one else can do it for you.
Take the power to make your life happy.
*Hymn:
Opening Words:
Why must we live with so much hurry and with so many things? To waste our life rushing. I want to live deeply and to aspire to a life that has purpose. I want to learn what the life has to teach me and spend my time with those I love. When I come near the end and look at death I do not wish to discover that I have not lived a life worth living.
"Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Look to this day!
For it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course lie all the verities
And realities of your existence:
The bliss of growth
The splendor of beauty;
For yesterday is but a dream,
And tomorrow is only a vision;
But today, well lived, makes every yesterday
A dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day.
Prayer:
(Followed by a moment of silent meditation)
Keep us from missing life by small neglects that blind the eyes of the spirit:
We invite you to share your joys and concerns since our last meeting
Love Amor
Marriage Matrimonio
Education Educación
Money Dinero
Work Profession
Extended family Familia
Spirituality Espiritualidad
Church Iglesia
Friends Amigos
Hobbies Pasa tiempos
World Peace Paz en Tierra
Recreation Recreación
Environment Ambiente
Spouse Cónyuge
Children Niños
Pets Mascotas
Community Comunidad
In column A rank the activities listed using this scale, adding others if you need to.
In column B write the number of hours you spend each week (on an average). You may not total more than 168 hours. Try to avoid multi-tasking.
This life is yours:
Go now in Peace
Go now in Peace, Go now in Peace,
May the Love of God surround you
Everywhere, everywhere, You may go
