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Congregation Unitarian Universalist
Return to Full Memorial Service Example
Return to Questions and Answers about Memorial Services Graveside and Services of Committal
Readings for a beloved Mother, Wife, Grandmother and for Fathers, Grandfathers and Husbands too
Gustave Flaubert
The Love Between a Mother and her Child
is a bond of the strongest kind.
It is a love of the present,
interwoven with memories of the past and dreams of the future.
It is strengthened by overcoming obstacles and facing fears and challenges together.
It is having pride in each other and knowing that our love can withstand anything.
It is sacrifice and tears, laughter and hugs.
It is understanding, patience, and believing in each other.
It is wanting only the best for each other and wanting to help anytime there is a need.
It is respect, a hug, and unexpected kindness.
It is making time to be together and knowing just what to do and say.
It is and unconditional. forever kind of love. Barbara Cage Something told the wild geese
it was time to go.
Though the fields lay golden
something whispered, "snow."
Leaves were green and stirring,
Berries, luster-glossed.
But beneath warm feathers
something cautioned, "frost."
All the sagging orchards
steamed with amber spice,
but each wild breast stiffened
at remembered ice.
Something told the wild geese
it was time to fly -
summer sun was on their wings,
winter in their cry This is often used for scattering of ashes at sea
-Alfred, Lord Tennyson The bright needles clicked
the old woman’s hands
quick, dextrous and expert
were a blur of colour
“Your new gloves are finished”
she eased them on to
my short plump fingers
“Now you can play in the snow”
I ran into the street, excited
the gloves soft, warm, dry
were a magical source
of safety and love.
Time drew on
my winters grew colder
the snow fell thicker
today my gloves
are faded and threadbare.
Her needles are silent
and my hands are cold.
for Fathers, Grandfathers and Husbands
Memories Keep Those We Love
Close To Us Forever
to all of the cherished moments
of the past,
to the blessings and the laughter,
the joys and the celebrations,
the sorrow and the tears.
They all add up to treasures
of found yesterdays
that you shared and spent together,
and they keep the one you loved
close to you in spirit and thought.
The special moments
and the memories in your life
will never change.
They will always be in your heart,
today and forevermore. by: Linda E. Knight
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone.
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum,
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let the airplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message "He is dead".
Put great bows around the white necks of the public doves.
Let traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my north, my south, my east, and west,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song.
I thought that love would last forever. I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now, put out every one.
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good. By W. H. Auden
Helen Lowrie Marshall
Rabbi Alvin I. Fine
. David Harkins
Ah, see! She sleeps in perfect rest,
Still as the flowers above her breast;
A statue of repose she seems,
Unvexed by any earthly dreams;
Nature’s angel, men call Death, hath brought,
That’s peace, that passeth human thought.
Of care and weariness and pain
No haunting memories remain.
From night of earth her spirit wakes
While the eternal morning breaks.
Illness and age have passed away;
She finds her sweet,lost youth to-day.
She has gone out from the home so dear
Made by her presence bright with cheer.
Since, as a bride, she came to be
Home’s angel of sweet ministry, -
To enter Home’s eternal door
Whence none go out forevermore.
Above her rest we speak her praise-
Of the loving heart, the winning ways.
In the quietness of this place and in the Spirit of this Community in which we share and find strength let us pray. Prayer cannot bring water to parched land, not stop a roaring flood, nor mend a broken bridge, nor rebuild a ruined city, but prayer can water an arid soul, change the tide toward righteousness, mend a broken heart and rebuild a weaken will. Let us pray. It is not easy to plan a memorial service for a loved one. Select a date, location, music, flowers, a member of the clergy, readings and all at a time when none of this is really what you want to plan.
Start by looking for favorite poems, verses, passages or readings of your loved one. You might also use inspirational letters or writings by your friend or relative to include in the service as a way of letting their own words speak for them. It is especially difficult to plan for a child's memorial service.
In addition, there are book resources, this site and other Internet sites with collections of poems, prose, blessings and prayers appropriate for use in a memorial service.
Readings
When I think of your loving face,
The Love Between a Mother and her Child is Forever
and of how pleasant it is to live with you,
of you deep serenity,
your charming tranquility,
I know very well that I shall never love anyone as much as I love you.
He goes free of the earth.
The sun of his last day sets
clear in the sweetness of his liberty.
The earth recovers from his dying,
the hallow of his life remaining
in all his death leaves.
Radiances know him.
Grown lighter than breath,
he is set free in our remembering.
Grown brighter than vision,
he goes dark
into the life of the hill that holds his peace.
He's hidden among all that is,
and cannot be lost.
Crossing the Bar
Sunset and evening star, And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar, When I put out to sea,
But such a tide as moving seems asleep, Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep Turns again home.
Twilight and evening bell, And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness or farewell, When I embark;
For tho’ from out our bourne of Time and Place The flood may bear me far,
hope to see my Pilot face to face When I have crossed the bar.
GRANDMOTHER
Hold fast to your memories,
Funeral Blues
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone
Afterglow
I’d like the memory of me to be a happy one,
I’d like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is done.
I’d like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways,
of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days.
I’d like the tears of those who grieve, to dry before the sun
of happy memories that I leave behind when day is done.
Birth is a beginning
and death a destination
And life is a journey:
From childhood to maturity
and youth to age;
From innocence to awareness
and ignorance to knowing;
From foolishness to desecration
and then perhaps to wisdom.
From weakness to strength or
from strength to weakness
and often back again;
From health to sickness
and we pray to health again.
From offense to forgiveness
from loneliness to love
from joy to gratitude
from pain to compassion
from grief to understanding
from fear to faith.
From defeat to defeat to defeat
until looking backwards or ahead
We see that victory lies not
at some high point along the way
but in having made the journey
step by step
a sacred pilgrimage.
Birth is a beginning
and death a destination
And life is a journey;
A sacred journey to life everlasting.
He is Gone
You can shed tears that he is gone,
Or you can smile because he lived,
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared,
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on,
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back,
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on
Prayer:
( followed by a moment of silent meditation)
