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Congregation Unitarian Universalist
Friendship
Friendship Day, August 5, 2008
Celebrating Loyalty and Camaraderie
En Español
The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to us when we discovers that someone else believes in us and is willing to trust us.
Lighting the Chalice:
To reclaim the vision of earth made fair, with all her people one.
* Hymn: Joys and Concerns: (We throw a small stone into this bowl filled with water, to symbolize our thoughts, which move in circular rings eternally, like concentric waves.)
Prayer: ( followed by a moment of silent meditation)
Nameless One—of many names
Opening Words:
We come to this time and this place
To rediscover the wondrous gift of our free religious community;
To renew our faith in the holiness, goodness, and beauty of life;
To reaffirm the way of the open mind and full heart;
To rekindle the flame of memory and hope; and
Make New Friends
Make new friends but keep the old,
One is silver and the other gold.
(repeat 3 times and/or sing as a round)
We invite you to share your joys and concerns since our last meeting
Starhawk
Story for All Ages: (the children go to Religious Education at the end of the story and the adults sing "Spitit of Life" )
Hymn:: First Reading: To be read responsively: by Roy Croft
Second Reading:
Discussion Theme: Friendship (copyright: First Unitarian Church San José)
"Friendship is the joy, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring all right out as they are, chaff and grain together, confident that a faithful, friendly hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of comfort, blow the rest away."
–George Eliot, Middlemarch
Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words can break your heart.
(Robert Fulgham)
Think about a very special friend you have had, or now have. Please share why you chose this friend. . What makes this friendship special? What have you learned from each other? How has the friendship changed over time?
Now think about someone who is not your friend, someone with whom you have had a difficult relationship. Remember the words in the UU Principles about "inherent worth and dignity of every person", "compassion in human relations", and "acceptance of one another". Think about making a valentine for this person. Notice what separates you. Perhaps the UU Principles do not mean that we should make friends with every person, but what do they mean in relation to people like your current "non-friend"? Loyalty, Trust and Camaraderie are three words often associated with friendship. How important are each of these in a friendship?
"Live in a world based on money and power and you soon find that all relationships get corroded. Nowhere is that crisis of spirit more manifest than in our loving relationships and friendships. …When friendships are based on the market model, people give care and support to each other only if they can expect a good return on their investments." -- Michael Lerner, Spirit Matters * Closing circle of hands: (Holding hands or link arms as you read the closing words together)
*Hymn:
Final Thoughts
"To Make a Friend, you must be a Friend"
# 123 (STLT)
"Spirit of Life" by Carolyn McDade (adapted)
Spirit of Life, come unto us,
Sing in our hearts all the stirrings of compassion.
Blow in the wind, rise in the sea;
Move in our hands, giving life the shape of justice.
Roots hold us close; wings set us free;
Spirit of Life, come to us, come to me.
I love you, not only for what you are
But for what I am when I am with you.
I love you, not only for what you have made of yourself, But for what You are making of me.
I love you, for the part of me that you bring out;
I love you, for putting your hand into my heaped-up heart and passing over all the foolish, weak things that you can't help dimly seeing there
I love you, for drawing out into the light all the beautiful belongings that no one else had looked quite far enough to find. I love you because you are helping me to make from the lumber of my life not a tavern but a temple;
Out of the works of my every day not a reproach but a song.
I love you because you have done more than any creed could have done
to make me good.
And more than any fate could have done to make me happy.
You have done it without a touch, without a word, without a sign.You have done it by being yourself.Perhaps that is what being a friend means, after all.
When we are going toward someone we say
you are just like me
your thoughts are my brothers
word matches word
how easy to be together.
When we are leaving someone we say
how strange you are
we cannot communicate
we can never agree
how hard, hard and weary to be together.
We are not different nor alike
but each strange in his leather body
sealed in skin and reaching out clumsy hands
and loving is an act
that cannot outlive
the open hand
the open eye
the door in the chest standing open.
Do you agree with this? How are your friendships based?
What is your role in maintaining a relationship? Think about what you really do to maintain your friendships, or what you wish you did.
If we agree in love, there is no disagreement that can do us any injury,
*Extinguish Chalice:
but if we do not,
no other agreement can do.
Go now in Peace
Go now in Peace, Go now in Peace,
May the Love of God surround you
Everywhere, everywhere, You may go.