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Our Fathers
En Español
As is traditional you are invited to bring a photograph or some object that represents your father to share with our group. If you wish you may now bring those items forward for the table.
"It no longer bothers me that I may be constantly searching for father figures; by this time, I have found several and dearly enjoyed knowing them all." Alice Walker
"It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was." -- Anne Sexton
We come together to acknowledge the fathers who helped give us life, to validate their "worth and dignity," and to ask, perhaps, for their forgiveness, in our humble efforts to "grow into harmony with the divine."
Prayer: Father's Day Prayer by Kirk D. Loadman-Copeland
Let us praise those fathers who by their own account were not always there for their children, but who continue to offer those children, now grown, their love and support.
Let us pray for those fathers who have been wounded by the neglect and hostility of their children.
Let us praise those fathers who, despite divorce, have remained in their children's lives.
Let us praise those fathers whose children are adopted, and whose love and support has offered healing.
Let us praise those fathers who, as stepfathers, freely choose the obligation of fatherhood and earned their stepchildren's love and respect.
Let us praise those fathers who have lost a child to death, and continue to hold the child in their heart.
Let us praise those men who have no children, but cherish the next generation as if they were their own.
Let us praise those men who have "fathered" us in their role as mentors and guides.
Let us praise those men who are about to become fathers; may they openly delight in their children.
And let us praise those fathers who have died, but live on in our memory and whose love continues to nurture us.
Joys and Concerns (We throw a small stone into this bowl filled with water, to symbolize our thoughts, which move in circular rings eternally, like concentric waves.)
Story for All Ages: (the children go to Religious Education at the end of the story and the adults sing "Spirit of Life" )
Hymn::
First Reading Alice Walker
How I miss my father
Second Reading
--Li-Young Lee
Discussion: Fathers (Copyright First Church Unitarian, San José, CA)
Let us review some of these thoughts on
"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years." -- Mark Twain
"For thousands of years, father and son have stretched wistful hands across the canyon of time, each eager to help the other to his side, but neither quite able to desert the loyalties of his contemporaries. The relationship is always changing and hence always fragile; nothing endures except the sense of difference." -- Alan Valentine
"It is a wise father that knows his own child." -- William Shakespeare
"I've had a hard life, but my hardships are nothing against the hardships that my father went through in order to get me to where I started." -- Bartrand Hubbard
3. Are there qualities in your father that you have tried to pass on to your children?
4. Did your relationship with your father change as you grew older? How?
5. Is there anything you now appreciate about your father that you may not have appreciated when you were growing up?
6. What would you like your father to know that you haven't told him? (You might choose to write this answer in the form of a letter you could send as a Father's Day gift, if your father is still living, or just to keep as a remembrance.)
7. Were there father figures during your childhood who had a significant impact on your growth and development? How?
8. Did your father influence the development of your Unitarian values in any way
Closing / Extinguishing the Chalice
--Barbara Pescan
(Link arms and read together)
we are;
in spite of their failings, we believe;
because of, and in spite of the horizons
of their vision,
we, too, dream.
Let us go remembering to praise,
to live in the moment,
to love mightily,
to bow to the mystery. *Hymn: *Alternate Hymn: Joni Mitchell: Circle Game
Yesterday a child came out to wonder
Caught a dragonfly inside a jar
Fearful when the sky was full of thunder
And tearful at the falling of a star
Then the child moved ten times round the seasons
Skated over ten clear frozen streams
Words like, when you're older, must appease them
And promises of someday make his dreams
And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and dawn
Were captive on the carousel of time
We cant return we can only look behind
And go round and round and round
In the circle game. Sixteen springs and sixteen summers gone now
Cartwheels turn to car wheels thru the town
And they tell them,
Take your time, it wont be long now
Till you drag your feet to slow the circles down
And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and dawn
Were captive on the carousel of time
We cant return we can only look behind
And go round and round and round
In the circle game. So the years spin by and now the boy is twenty
Though their dreams have lost some grandeur
Coming true
There'll be new dreams, maybe better dreams and plenty
Before the last revolving year is through.
And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
Were captive on the carousel of time
We can't return, we can only look behind
And go round and round and round
In the circle game.
Lighting the Chalice:
Opening Words
Let us praise those fathers who have striven to balance the demands of work, marriage, and children with an honest awareness of both joy and sacrifice. Let us praise those fathers who, lacking a good model for a father, have worked to become a good father.
Let us join in silent meditation. For one moment in our all too busy lives let us contemplate the greater good and higher service to all people everywhere. For this is what our fathers did and what they tried to teach us.
We invite you to share your joys and concerns since our last meeting
# 123 (STLT)
"Spirit of Life" by Carolyn McDade (adapted)
Spirit of Life, come unto us,
Sing in our hearts all the stirrings of compassion.
Blow in the wind, rise in the sea;
Move in our hands, giving life the shape of justice.
Roots hold us close; wings set us free;
Spirit of Life, come to us, come to me.
I wish he had not been
so tired
when I was
born.
Writing deposit slips and checks
I think of this.
He taught me how.
This is the form,
he must have said:
the way it is done.
I learned to see
bits of paper
as a way
to escape
the life he knew
and even in high school
had a savings
account.
He taught me
that telling the truth
did not always mean
a beating;
though many of my truths
must have grieved him
before the end.
How I miss my father!
He cooked like a person
dancing
in a yoga meditation
and craved the voluptuous
sharing
of good food.
Now I look and cook just like him:
my brain light;
tossing this and that
into the pot;
seasoning none of my life
the same way twice; happy to feed
whoever strays my way.
He would have grown to admire
the woman I've become;
cooking, writing, chopping wood,
staring into the fire.Hymn
:
# 123 STLT #23 Bring Many Names
Bring many names, beautiful and good,
Celebrate in parable and story,
Holiness in glory, living, loving God:
Hail and hosanna, bring many names.
Warm father God, hugging ev'ry child,
Feeling all the strains of human living,
Caring and forgiving till we're reconciled:
Hail and hosanna, warm father God!
Old, aching God, grey with endless care,
Calmly piercing evil's new disguises,
Glad of new surprises, wiser than despair:
Hail and hosanna, old aching God!
Great, living God, never fully known,
Joyful darkness far beyond our seeing,
Closer yet than breathing, everlasting home:
Hail and hosanna, great, living God!
To pull the metal splinter from my palm, my father recited a story in a low voice. I watched his lovely face and not the blade. Before the story ended, he'd removed the iron sliver I thought I'd die from. I can't remember the tale, but hear his voice still, a well of dark water, a prayer.
This is a time to reflect on something another person has said or to relate additional thoughts that occurred as others shared.
Fatherhood and our own thoughts and beliefs before we begin our discussion questions.
2. What qualities that you have, both positive and negative, do you think were influenced by your father? Who do you think is ultimately responsible for the qualities you possess?
Because of those who came before,
Go now in Peace
Go now in Peace, Go now in Peace,
May the Love of God surround you
Everywhere, everywhere, You may go
From where we came
From where we came
From where we came
